Ron Staedtler, a previous participant in the Illuminati known for his role in Inside Job, also happens to be the ex-partner of Reagan Ridley. He resides in Appleton, Wisconsin, under a pseudonym, having had his memories of his deep state involvement effectively wiped out.
Ron’s character brilliantly captures a balance of peculiar qualities, presenting him as an intriguing paradox that blends intelligence, obscurity, and profound empathy.
Magic of Ron Staedtler
He is a deep thinker who ironically relishes his role as the Cognito Inc.’s janitor. This unique mix of his philosophical insights and his menial job makes him an enigmatic figure, pushing us to rethink our conventional notions of intellect and status.
- Martin Higgins (False Identity)
- Mind eraser at the Illuminati (formerly)
After a decade at the Illuminati, his work burdens him. He attends group therapy led by Elliot Mothman, where he meets Reagan Ridley. Both attempt to sabotage their respective bosses at Bohemian Grove, but end up captured, escaping to a giant owl statue where they bond and become intimate.
Reagan decides to brainwash the Pope into intolerance to boost church attendance, funding Cognito’s artificial Hell. She uses a dinner date to ask Staedtler to be her boyfriend.
Staedtler uses his “Catholicizer” on the Pope but gets caught up with work. Reagan, fearing he might miss dinner, uses the device again, which results in the Pope unleashing artificial Hell intending to destroy unrepentant Rome.
Amid chaos and animatronic demons, Reagan questions their relationship while battling through the carnage. Struck by his own ray, Staedtler willingly goes to artificial Hell where Reagan apologizes, and they confess their feelings.
Their relationship is confirmed as they shut down the artificial Hell, enjoy Rome, and celebrate at a gay dog wedding after undoing the Pope’s brainwashing.
The Symbol of Humaneness
Amidst the chaos and absurdity of Cognito Inc., Ron stands as a beacon of calm and sensitivity. His character is not just the ‘wise janitor’; he symbolizes the inherent humaneness that the corporate world often lacks. He teaches us the importance of kindness, compassion, and empathy in an environment obsessed with power and secrets.
His warmth and sensitivity are a welcome contrast to the cut-throat culture of Cognito Inc., making him a beloved figure both within the organization and amongst the viewers.
Ron Staedtler & Reagan
Staedtler, having dated Reagan for a while, expresses his frustration with his Illuminati job, and contemplates leaving the deep state entirely. Reagan, in response, attempts to introduce Staedtler to Cognito through Brett. But Brett experiences a first: he doesn’t like Staedtler. In response, Reagan shifts tactics, deciding to bring Staedtler into the fold at a Halloween party.
Brett, wanting to find a way to like Staedtler, tasks Andre with creating a virus. If they infuse this virus with Staedtler’s DNA, it will force Brett to like Staedtler.
However, the plan backfires. While Brett remains immune, the virus spreads throughout Cognito, instigating an intense obsession with Staedtler in everyone else. As Staedtler, Reagan, and Brett dash through the hallways, Staedtler witnesses Cognito’s unethical practices, such as cloning Adolf Hitler and running a baby organ stem cell research lab.
Reagan tries to create an antidote using Brett’s DNA, but their reconciliation renders it useless. With no other options available, they choose to erase everyone’s memory of Staedtler. After the resolution of the crisis, Staedtler withdraws to ponder, leaving Reagan filled with worry.
Ron Is A Looner
It’s clear that Ron doesn’t have many friends, nor does he seem to mesh well with others. Reagan’s coworkers stand as steady companions, yet Ron doesn’t display any camaraderie towards the leaders of the Illuminati. Instead, he actively chooses to undermine them discreetly.
He confesses that he avoids getting close to others to prevent them from getting hurt. His generally sullen demeanor initially drives Brett away. His apparent loneliness might be why he is completely willing to erase his memory to be with Reagan.
Ron & Reagen